"More than half of modern culture depends on what one shouldn't read"

- Oscar Wilde

Friday, May 14, 2010

Worilds of Fun (worst title ever)

Pittsburgh Steelers Draft Analysis…Round 2

Jason Worilds, VA Tech, DE projection to (what I think will be weak side) OLB

Intangibles: 6’1” 254 lbs. Talk about perfect size—he is exactly what you want coming off the end as a defensive coordinator. His official 4.72 in the 40 yd. dash, which is less amazing (as always seems to be the case) than his 4.49 and 4.53 unofficial time, unfortunately means he will never be the next LT (I love you Lawrence—fuck the haters—keep it real on the inside), but his position on the field will rarely have him running 40 yards in a straight line very often. Or will it? Of course it will, when he’s on kick coverage, which is where he is going to have to essentially prove himself. Definitely look for him to be busting heads on kick-offs in August during the pre-season.

So why only 2nd Team All-ACC honors? Derrick Morgan, arguably the best end in the draft shared the 1st Team honors with Robert Quinn, a senior from UNC, who overcame a brain tumor in his senior year of high school (sorry, don’t do brain cancer jokes), and has spent his collegiate career in opponent’s backfields. Quinn, who has decided to graduate, is a projected top 10 pick in the 2011 draft a la 6’5” 270 lb. sack-machine stature; he will be “pray-fully playing” FOR FREE, instead of getting his ass kicked everyday in practice for the Browns or Raiders. Good choice my friend, just stay away from raggedy ass hoes because we all know what happens then (BEN?!).

Worilds will mean “worlds” to our piss-poor special teams, which was record-breakingly decimated last season. I look at that simply as a sign of laziness. To perform in such a way during our run to win SB 43, and then to play so putridly in the following campaign with nearly the same core of guys is not acceptable, but understood. Win the Super Bowl, and teams tend to take an off year. Less the Patriots and even the Colt's “Atlanta Brave-like” run each year, Super Bowl winners struggle the following season. Training camp should be long, hard, and hot this year for the Pittsburgh Steelers, bring them back down to earth, coach T.

I hear comments about us going 0-6 to start the season. I GUARANTEE THAT WILL NOT HAPPEN. I’m looking at 4-2, getting Ben back, and having a solid year with a trip to the play-offs. Baltimore will be tough, but the D is getting up there (Uncle Ray Ray). And I still never take the Bengals seriously.

But there is Cleveland! Hahahahahahahahaha. I’ve been told of recent hate mail from a Cleveland reader. You know how the Raiders are the “Assholes of the League” in almost every facet? Well you guys are like the sucky “Raiders of the League,” except you and your 11 year old franchise have never won any Super Bowls; you prevent promising young men from being gifted NFL athletes, who come out of college with the hopes that they’ll go anywhere but Cleveland. Buffalo—not Cleveland! Detroit—not Cleveland! THE RAIDERS—not Cleveland! And then you take them in the first and second rounds and ruin their lives forever.

Even Shaq’s been staying with Ben on the weekends...yeeeaaahhh, you know what that means!

Back to Worilds…he’s got a 38” vertical, run’s a 4.29 shuttle drill, and a 6.95 three-cone drill. Those last two stats should catch your eye—the shuttle time most; however, Jason was considered a top-performer in all four of the “let’s see what you got first” tests at the combine. The twenty-yard shuttle drill provides us with a better idea of how Jason will perform on defense though, and his quickness, agility, and thigh girth should mean trouble for opposing tackles some day if a nagging shoulder injury doesn’t hold him back. His upper-legs look like tree trunks, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he got caught trying to out duel “Big Snack” Hampton on the leg-press machine during workouts this summer.

The Steelers defense functions around its linebackers and they can never have enough good ones. They obviously have great ones now with Pro Bowlers James Harrison and LaMarr Woodley, but depth is vital; and with Harrison at 32 we need an heir apparent—Worilds could be the guy. He is an undersized end, like many others who took that path with the Steelers, including Woodley, Haggans, Porter and Jason Gildon (still got love for you JG).

“Position-wise, I don't have any personal preference,” says Worilds. “I just want to get on the field and do what I love to do. I have heard different things, and it really depends schematically on what the team runs. Certain teams that run 4-3 will have me as a down lineman in a three-point stance, and teams that run a 3-4 would have me standing up as an outside linebacker,” he concluded.

Now, we ultimately wait for that transition. Remember this draft Pittsburgh…this could be the one that leads us to a pinnacle seventh Lombardi Trophy.

back to beat lab with John C. Reilly for round 3 mix tape,